let you know

Failure - Laura Marling

well, you guys were really made my days. one by one each of you were such my family. didn’t know where to start.. i just want you all to know that i dont really dont care anymore. i’ll let you know why do i have to be layk this. as you guys were busy out there for our some events, actually i dont wanna stay at home or at least i let my self wayyy far from you. i am really concern for you all. thats why im not telling you the cause. maybe you’ll not gonna trust me at all. but i really hope, if one day i can be ‘it’, may i take you to the part of my best family which i ever had in my whole life ? ;’) [crying in the deepest heart]
yes this is my explanation :
first, when i saw the advertise on bimay *you guys will directly know this long word 🙂 about aiesec ( actually this is the huge organization that sent a lot of people to go abroad to reach their highest need to be a Global Changemaker. finish. let you just guess the point before i said finish is. hope you know..

second, since i never be at home about five months in the 4th semester – for doing some assignments that in the end i just get 62 in one lesson which means i hv to spend another holiday with sp! – for you in the past events we’re held – and for my church that i am still confused what i worth in it for! but now i realized : } , i almost forget that i have a sister and a brother. hahaha. you guys will soon gonna think about what does it means? yes! it means that now i wanna spent my loooong holiday with ’em. Elmart Nachato and Elma Sheftryanna. both of that names were making me crazy.
in this four to five smstr holiday i wanna make a special thought in their head that i can be a good a nice a humble or even a gorgeous sister! let me say sorry before we go to the nextr exp. sorry guysssssss..

third, since i told you the reason in number two, in here im gonna tell you that my parents do hv forgotten by me. i never let them know how wonderful they are in my life. to teach me until im nineteen layk this without teach them back for that years in a short time. i cant! its just because i concern about all of my stuff. and knowing that they are the best part that God having sent to me, this is my turn to let them know how great they having a part in my life. my favourite part until this day was august first 09 when my father’s car suddenly cant reach the top of the street on a highway in puncak. just my father in the car. we all tried to push the car forward – with the help of teenage around [ they are just so kind! thkyou guys! ten thousand for me is not enough to push that car. but you guys accept it gratefully! ]

forth, ther’s no spesific reason for this. i wanna heal my past. since there’re still some rocks – which i cant handle if i go out faaarr away with no reason and no comfort at all. remembering you as my completer in my head was sooo wonderful. hillarious! this is all. am gonna take to another stories that will including our stories. because you are the one who make this life more needed now!
before, sorry for texted in english, just cant say it in our bahasa cuz all the words that comes up from my head and translated into here is this all..
#stay give the best for ourself! :’}

love, nia

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